Orlund.com

Technical Support

You just finished typing a 10,000 word letter to your grandma and you were about to push the send button then out of nowhere your screen turned blue with a bunch of white writing. It says a bunch of strange stuff with lots of numbers. It says something about restarting your system and doing a 'restore'. You think 'Ya, that sounds good, I want restore that 10,000 word email'. You click the ok button and your computer restarts. Next thing you know there is no email, no free online poker icon on your desktop, and your favorite sunset background with palm trees is gone. What do you do? Call tech support!

Oh, how many times I've heard this story. I was that guy behind the phone and I have learned alot from customers. Based on all the advice I have recieved from them, here is my advice.

First, don't panic. Check all those boxes around the modem, the modem is the big box thingy that you stick floppy disks in (or so I've been told). It is also called a hard drive. All those boxes including the modem should have flashy lights on them. If there not flashing shake it and listen if something is broken and rattles. If nothing rattles then it is not broken so hit it a few times until the lights start flashing.

If you still do not have flashing lights make sure your Toboshi box(the manufacture miss spells it as Toshiba) is connected to your wireless Linkski box (also miss spelled as Linksys) and that box should be connected to the big modem box which says HP Pavlon (also miss spelled as Pavilion). If these are not connected then go and get a regular phone cord and connect them together. It doesn't matter in what order you connect them together as long as they are connected. If you don't have a phone cable go to a dollar store because they are cheaper (cheaper is better).

Now it should work. If not then call tech support. Here are a few warnings and things to watch for when you call. Those techs are tricky and clueless. They try to treat you just like 'another number'. When you call make sure the tech knows who is in charge. It all begins when they ask you for your name and phone number to 'pull up your information'. It should start with your problem so don't give your name right away. Instead start with yelling and screaming about how you lost your 10,000 word email to your grandma and that took you 2 hours to write. Also mention that hotmail did not auto save it for you. Remember, it is the Internet companies fault and it is your job to let them know. They won't be able to help their customer if they don't know how you feel so throw in a few words they never heard before.

They may try to 'put you on hold to do some research'. Don't let that happen, they are just going to put you on hold to play card games with the other techs. If they need to do research it is because they are rookies. At this point your best option is to demand to be switched to another tech at which they will say they can't. That is a lie, you should have the right to talk to a senior tech and if they refuse then ask for a manger.

They might ask you to reset the modem. Now we know the modem is the big hard drive box thingy but the techs say it is the toboshi box. Don't let them try to trick you into in unplugging it from the power. Unplug the big box. Also they will tell you the not to unplug the phone cord and that the power cord is the three prong cord going into the wall. Actually the power cord is the phone cord. Then they will try to make follow the cords to see how you plugged them all in. You know you did it right so just say it is plugged in right and that you already tried all this.

Finally after an hour or two the tech will say he just received a message that says there is a problem in your area. This is something he should have checked at the beginning so yell and scream at him one more time. Also let him know you will give him a bad rating on the email survey. Next he will say that there is a hurricane in your area and the power is out so you will not be able to connect. That is a lie, your computer has a three year warranty that is valid even if there is a hurricane. No use arguing though because it is a waist of your time talking to these lowly techs. Instead ask if there are techs out working on it and how long will it take.

This is all the advice from customers over the years. Well I hope this is will help you next time you have a problem. When all else fails take a hammer and go at it. Then go out and by your self one of those nice pretty Mac computers that never crash, have viruses, lose emails, the internet always works with them.

~ Orlund ~
[2008-02-16]